New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still have a little drunk in my system
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
