Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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