Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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