just come out here and I will go home with you...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My hand turned me down
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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