Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
be right there i have to get my cape
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
