And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
