why didn't you poke me back
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize