hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
