Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
