Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
