i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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