I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
