Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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