Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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