The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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