trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
