I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
