dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
