Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
