I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
