my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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