He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize