This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
