I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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