wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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