I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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