I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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