Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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