oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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