My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize