she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
