It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
