It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
