I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
