i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
