It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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