I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!