Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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