The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize