i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
