Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize