Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Be still, my beating vagina.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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