Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
