even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
