Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
