the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
