I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize