My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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