At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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