Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
