I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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