just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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