And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
