Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
