girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
